No news is good news!

"For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news." ~ Gloria Borger

I don't read the newspaper anymore, and I won't watch the news on TV. Both are always filled with doom and gloom and depressing stories, or stories that just make you mad. Take this morning for example. I clicked on the website for the local newspaper and the following headlines jumped off the front page of the print edition:

"Ecological catastrophe" (referring to the fleet of vehicles Environment Canada uses and how they are gas guzzlers. Thanks to the government of Canada for continuing to fleece us.)

"Body pulled from Huron" (a story about a young man's body, presumed to be a 17 year old who went missing at the beach last week, that was pulled from the water.)

"Crochet pulled from fair's fabric" (crocheting - a mainstay of the Western Fair - has been pulled from the craft exhibit! Atrocious!)

And a large picture in the middle of it all with the caption, "The Pride and the Protest". An older gentleman holds up a sign that says, "Homosexuality is a sin. Jesus calls sinners to repentance.", while a participant in the Gay Pride Parade "reacts with mock horror" as he reads the sign. Can't we all just get along???

And reading it online is no better. The breaking news headlines include a suspicious death on one end of the city, a 3 vehicle crash which has left 5 people in hospital and a body being found after a trailer fire.

Wah, wah, wahhhhhhhhh...... How depressing! Why did I look?

Why can't we reserve the front page for happy stories? "Kitten rescued from the top of white pine tree", or put our birth and wedding announcements there. Save one whole section at the back and call it the "Doom and Gloom" area or something. Better yet, sell a whole paper devoted to gut wrenching, sad, angering or otherwise non-pleasant stories. From my experience, there are people out there who get a thrill from other people's misery, so they wouldn't have to worry about papers not selling. They'd sell more!

Nah, I'm done with the news. Or at least I'm going to be very selective of my news sources. Horror and tragedy just aren't my idea of a good read while sipping my morning tea. Or at any part of the day actually. No thanks. I'll pass. What a waste of trees.

“Never awake me when you have good news to announce, because with good news nothing presses; but when you have bad news, arouse me immediately, for then there is not an instant to be lost.” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte